Early admission
by Dancing-Phalanges75
Summary: Re-write of season 6. As Buffy breaks down after the events of Flooded, she accepts Spike's feelings for her and soon begins to develop her own. I own no characters that honour belongs to Joss Whedon.
1. The beginning

Buffy was aching all over. She had just been on patrol and got her ass handed to her by some big green demon, and as if that wasn't bad enough Spike had turned up, looked at her once before throwing himself at the thing and kicking it in what she had thought was its head, though from the reaction, it seems it was slightly more sensitive than that.

Of course that was just the perfect way to top off the day she had had. Earlier at the bank that stupid demon had to go and rob it whilst she was trying to get a loan, what a day. Reaching her back door she slumped on the porch. She sat for a moment ignoring the tingles at the back of her neck, although she knew they shouldn't, the tingles soothed her. She tried to kid herself into believing it was because it was a familiar feeling; however she knew it was because of the vampire these tingles were connected to. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore. "Come out, Spike. I know you're there."

Spike appeared out the shadows near the corner of the house, Buffy patted the step next to her, offering him a seat. He came over almost predatory in his movements, and as he sat Buffy unconsciously angled herself closer to him.

Spike could feel the emotions pouring of Buffy in waves, and none of them good. He could tell just by looking at her that the girl was exhausted, after her revelation that she had been in heaven, Spike had been taking a closer watch of the girl, and now he knew why, she was drowning and no one else had noticed. "Pet, tell me what's wrong. What can I do to help?" He moved closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Buffy, luv? Tell me, it's all right." He was expecting her to pull away from him, so when she turned and buried her face in his chest, you could colour him surprised. At first he was too shocked to do anything, but when he heard her near silent sobs, and felt her tears start to soak through his t-shirt, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

Buffy clutched at Spike's t-shirt, trying not to cry, but when she felt his arms wrap around her she just let go. Tears poured down her face and her body shook, she could her Spike crooning in her ear, telling her everything would be okay, and not to worry, then she felt her heart break as she heard him say sorry and start to cry with her, she knew that he thought he loved her, but now she knew it wasn't just in his head. He really did love her.

Spike was hurting, seeing her in this much pain, he wanted so much to take it from her, she should never of had to go through this, and as he looked down at the girl who had taken over his heart, he swore to himself he would do anything he could to help ease her pain.


	2. The first time

Buffy stopped crying and pulled away from Spike, she looked up at him and saw the tears running down his face. She brought one hand up to his face and cupped his cheek in her hand. He looked down at her and as their eyes met they seemed to have a conversation that lasted a lifetime. Her eyes drifted to his lips, and then back to his eyes, and suddenly his mouth was on hers, and all the feelings she had towards him, that she had forced down rushed to the surface. Her body was on fire, the heat radiating from his kiss was sending spikes of white hot pleasure to her womb, and as she felt his tongue asking for access to her mouth, she did the one thing she never thought she would do, and let him in.

Spike was in heaven, the woman he loved was in his arms and she was kissing him, her lips opened in invitation and he slid his tongue into her mouth, exploring and caressing, rubbing against her tongue, and as he heard her moan he thought she really must have staked him, but no Buffy was kissing him, after her had offered her comfort. Wait a minute. Spike pulled back, and Buffy looked at him with questioning eyes. "Are you sure you want this, luv?"

Buffy looked at Spike, and saw apprehension in his eyes. Of course he wouldn't be sure of this; she had pushed him away far too often. Instead of answering him, she pulled his face down to hers and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm sure Spike. Do you want to come inside?" She saw his eyes widen at her offer, and he slowly nodded his head. Buffy got to her feet and held out her hand, hope lit up Spike's face as he placed his hand in hers, and allowed her to lead him into the house.

As they entered the kitchen Spike noticed Willow and Dawn sat at the island in the middle of the room, and as they looked towards the door, he expected Buffy to drop his hand, but instead she held on, and pulled him further into the room. "Hey Buffy...What you doing?" Willow's eyes were locked on his and Buffy's interlocked hands, and he began to feel rather nervous. "Coming in from patrol. Why do you ask?" Buffy continued into the kitchen and pulled him along with her. "Are you okay? Nothing wrong is there?" Buffy froze up slightly, and Spike tried to loosen his hand from hers, only to feel her tighten her grip. Spike leaned in close to her ear, "Luv, if you don't want me to go, I'll meet you up in your room, okay. Pet? Just shake your head if you want me to stay."

Buffy really didn't want Spike to go, but she could tell that Willow was thinking the worst, but as she heard Spike's whisper she smiled, and shook her head. "No Wills, nothing's wrong, Spike was just walking me home, I met up with a pretty nasty demon and he helped me out." She felt rather than saw Spike's smile, and she released his hand. "Yeah, and now that the Slayer's home in one piece, I'll be off. Nice seeing you Red, Niblet." At the sound of her pet name Dawn looked up at smiled at Spike, "Bye Spike." Spike left the room, and Buffy let out a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding. "Well I'm going to bed. I'm a little wiped." Willow looked apprehensive but nodded in agreement. "Alright, I'll see you in the morning then." "Night Buffy." Dawn chirped. And at that Buffy nearly ran to the door.

Spike was nervous, he knew that if he had been human, his heart would have been beating out of his chest, he was crouched just inside Buffy's window, and as her door opened a wave of relief swept through him. He stood and allowed the light from the hallway to wash over him. He heard Buffy's slight gasp and smiled, and it _was_ a smile not just his trademark smirk, seeing an answering one appear on Buffy's face.

As Buffy approached her bedroom door, she felt her stomach clench as nerves hit her. She knew what would happen if she entered her room, yet as she opened her door and saw the smile on Spike's face she was very glad she'd asked him to stay and smiled back. In an instant she had crossed the room and was claiming his mouth with a need she had never felt before. And instantly her fire was met by his, she felt his tongue sweep across her bottom lip as his hand wrapped around her hip and pulled her closer to him, bringing her into contact with the hard and very obvious evidence of his desire, Buffy gasped as Spike ground himself against her and as soon as her lips parted Spike took the advantage and instantly his tongue joined hers and began to explore every corner of her mouth. The two duelled for dominance within the kiss, both of them losing themselves within the sensation of being together. Buffy felt her knees buckle from the feelings Spike was evoking in her, and just as she felt she was going to fall, Spike swept her into his arms and carried her over to the bed.

Spike couldn't believe it, he had to stop himself from pinching he arm just to make sure it wasn't a dream, as he laid Buffy down on her bed, and as he pulled back and looked at her, his breathe caught in his throat, "You look bloody gorgeous luv." At his words a blush flooded Buffy's cheeks, making her look all the more beautiful to him. He leant over and placed his lips back on hers before placing soft kisses all over her face and neck. Murmuring sweet nothings into her skin, he felt her pulse race when he moved his mouth over the bite marks on her neck. Knowing from experience just how sensitive they were, he swiped his tongue over them and felt her shudder beneath him. Spike moved himself so that he was lying between Buffy's legs and let part of his weight press down into her, letting her feel just what she was doing to him.


	3. Almost anyway

Buffy moaned as she felt Spike press her down into the bed, there were sparks of fire rushing through her veins, originating from every point where his body touched hers. She loved the feeling, felt like she was flying, couldn't get enough. But as she felt Spike's hand on the zip of her jeans panic hit her. She had to slow down, she was losing control too quickly and it was giving her a sense of exhilarating fear. She pulled back from Spike's lips, and pressed lightly on his shoulders. "Spike..." She whispered, instantly she felt tension run through his body as he stiffened above her. He rolled of her and sat on the edge of the bed, Buffy glanced at him and as their eyes met momentarily she saw rejection in his. "Oh Spike. No, it's not that." Buffy moved to him, and wrapped her arms around his body, placing soft kisses on his neck. "I don't want you to stop, just slow down a bit. I've not, I, it's been a while."

Spike turned his head to look at Buffy, he could see her emotions shining through her eyes, burning him. He could also tell she was slightly embarrassed by her confession. He placed a soft kiss on her lips and pulled back after a moment resting his forehead on hers, locking blue eyes with green. "We don't have to do anything luv, I'm happy to just be with you. You know that Buffy, don't you?" Spike tried his best to convey his sincerity and he watched as she closed her eyes in thought.

Buffy couldn't believe it, how was it that Spike, the one person who she shouldn't want or like, was the only one who understood exactly how she felt. And could help her go from panicked, and scared one moment, to feeling loved and safe the next. And she knew he meant what he said. He always did. Opening her eyes she dipped her head and pressed her lips against his, trying to tell him how she felt without words. She whispered against his lips, "Hold me tonight Spike, please."

Spike felt his heart soar at her soft words, and he wrapped his arms around her tight, "Of course pet, anything," He smiled into her hair and kissed the top of her head, "let's see about getting you more comfortable first yeah? Get you in some PJ's and all snuggled up in your covers eh?" Spike peeled Buffy's arms off him and stood up, holding his hand out to her. And with a soft smile on her face she took it. Spike watched as she walked over to her drawers and pulled out a pair of shorts and a large t-shirt, before taking her hair out of its ponytail and letting her golden locks fall loose around her shoulders. She turned to look at him, and it took him a moment to realise why she wasn't doing anything. "Oh yeah, changed right, I'll jus'... yeah." Spike turned around and placed a hand over his eyes. He stood there for what like hours, listening to the sounds of her getting changed. The soft thump as her clothes hit the floor, a shuffling sound as she wiggled into her pyjamas, and then nothing. He was getting slightly worried, when he felt her hand on his arm, softly turning him around. She was looking at her feet when she spoke. "Mm, I'm just going to clean my teeth and, er stuff. So if you want to get ready, mm I'll be back in a sec." Spike looked at her tenderly and thought how cute she looked when she was nervous. "Alright pet. You go get sorted, I'll be here." He was shocked when Buffy wrapped her arms around him, in a quick hug, before turning and heading to the bathroom.

Spike looked around the room for a moment, and inhaled deeply, revelling in the strong scent of Buffy, and taking in all the little details of the room, there were pictures of the scoobies and niblet around her mirror and in frames in various places in the room, there were clothes tumbling out of the cupboard, and a small stuffed pig that had been flung on the floor at some point. Spike picked up the pig and had a closer look at it, it was worn and old looking, with some places missing its covering revealing the stuffing, looking at it brought a smile to his face, as he thought of a younger Buffy cuddling it in her sleep. He placed the pig on the bed, and shrugged out of his duster, he could hear the sounds of running water and teeth being cleaned coming from the bathroom and decided to make himself more suitable for sleep, he pulled his t-shirt over his head, and began to undo his jeans, suddenly glad that for once he was actually wearing boxers, her pulled of his boots and put them down as quietly as he could before removing his socks and taking his jeans off. Then not sure what to do, he sat on the bed and waited for Buffy.

When Buffy came out of the bathroom, she entered her bedroom and was greeted by the sight of Spike having a staring contest with . She giggled and Spike's head lifted and locked on her instantly. "You know, he is a stuffed toy. Even if you didn't blink for a century he'd still beat you." Spike look confused for a moment before a goofy grin spread across his face, Buffy felt her stomach flutter as she saw it, it was so unrestrained, she had never seen a look like that on Spike's face before. Spike patted the spot next to him on the bed, and Buffy walked over, but stopped at the edge. She smiled down at Spike and made a shooing motion with her hands. "I don't know what you did in jolly old England, but in America we sleep under the covers, not on top." Spike grinned again, and climbed off the bed, allowing Buffy to settle in before crawling under the covers to join her. Buffy felt him wrap his arms around her and allowed herself to be pulled closer into his body. She wriggled backwards and took hold of his arms, pulling them tighter around her.

Spike felt Buffy relax and drift off to sleep, he lay holding her until he was certain she was asleep. He brushed some hair behind her ear, and fluttered a kiss softly on her cheek, "I love you Buffy". He whispered into her ear. And just as he began to drift off to sleep himself, he heard her softly mumble, "I love you to Spike".


	4. The morning after

Spike was having the most amazing dream, he was floating on a cloud, with Buffy in his arms, her scent filling his nose, and the sun was warming his arm, it was warm, and getting warmer. The scent of Buffy was slowly being replaced with a strange smell, almost like the hog roasts they had at fairs when he was younger, and his arm was beginning to get unbearably hot, burning even.

Spike's eyes shot open, and he scrambled away from the ray of light burning his arm, not noticing in his haste, the other person he sent flying. "Argh, bugger! You bloody bastard!" Spike batted at his arm, trying to extinguish the small flames that had taken hold. "Wanking piece of…", a small snort shocked Spike out of his tirade, arm extinguished, he took stock of his surroundings.

Buffy was sat on the floor, on the side of the bed closest to her window, a small gap in the curtains resulting in the stream of sunlight that had set his arm aflame, and brought an abrupt end to his sleep. A small smile was present on her lips, and there was a sparkle in her eyes, that Spike hadn't seen in a long time. He watched as she got to her feet and walked over to where he was standing, in the shadows near her open cupboard.

A small frown took over her features, as she gently took hold of his injured arm, "Are you alright Spike? I didn't realise the curtains were open, I should have made sure before we went to sleep. I'm so sorry." Looking down at Buffy's concerned face, Spike drew her into a hug, lightly kissing her crown. She drew back, looking up at him, and he couldn't resist placing his lips on hers in a sweet kiss. "I'm alright luv, just a bit of a shock y'know. Waking up on fire n' all that. 'm all healed up now, so it's not a bother." Checking his arm again Buffy saw the truth to his words, where moments ago the skin of Spike's forearm was blackened like meat left too long on a barbeque, there was once again smooth pale skin. Looking up into Spike's eyes Buffy gave him an embarrassed smile, and was pleasantly surprised when Spike reclaimed her lips in a kiss that whilst as passionate as those he bestowed upon her the previous night, carried an underlying sweetness. She was so wrapped up in Spike's embrace that she didn't hear the thundering footsteps that accompanied her sister, until her bedroom door burst open.


	5. Hurricane Dawn

Dawn was humming to herself making a sandwich, she'd woken up with the strangest craving for a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, and so she'd snuck downstairs to the kitchen, hoping to avoid waking Buffy.

She wasn't stupid, even though Willow, and the other scoobies treated her like she was. She'd noticed how different Buffy had been acting lately, and although she had seemed better recently, she knew there was something wrong. When Buffy had come home last night, her eyes red and puffy it was obvious she'd been crying, it was also obvious to Dawn that Spike loved her sister, no not just loved, he was _in _love with her, and she knew that he'd been just as worried about Buffy as she was. When she'd seen them holding hands the night before, she was over joyed because it meant that Buffy had finally accepted how Spike felt about her, which meant that Dawn would finally be able to tell Buffy, how much she liked Spike, and wished that he could be more involved with them both. I mean really, who else her age had a brother that took them for rides on motorbikes, or taught them to pick locks, or all the other cool stuff Spike had shown her whilst Buffy was, _gone_.

However she wasn't expected to be broken from her musings on her sister and pseudo-big brother finally getting together, by a distinctly masculine voice yelling upstairs. Dropping her sandwich Dawn raced to up the stairs, only tripping on a couple, and ran towards the source of the yelling. Realising it was coming from Buffy's room she burst through the door, and came to an abrupt stop.

The sight that greeted her was as unexpected as snow in Sunnydale. Spike and her sister were locked in a passionate embrace, her arms around his neck, and his encircling Buffy's small waist. What shocked her the most was their clothing, or at least their lack of such. Spike was wearing only boxers, and although Buffy was mostly covered by a t-shirt, the shorts she was wearing didn't really cover much else. It took a moment for Dawn's brain to process what she was seeing, but when it clicked the loud, high pitched squeal that escaped her would have been a world record, if only there was someone present to record it.

The couple before her broke apart, and for a second Dawn was pinned to the wall by a snarling Spike. Buffy had automatically slipped into a fighting stance, and took a moment to recognise that the intruder Spike was currently pinning to the wall, was her baby sister. Walking over she placed a calming hand on his shoulder shocking him out of his instincts. A look of horror overcame his features as he realised what he had just done, dropping his arms quickly, and checking over Dawn to make sure she wasn't hurt.

"Oh bit, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise it was you." Dawn just smiled at the vampire she thought of as family and wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight hug. "Don't worry about it ya big lug, you haven't hurt me. And if you did, the chip would have gone off, _remember._" Pulling back from the vampire Dawn smiled up at him before pulling away.

Spike grinned abashedly and scratched the back of his head, "Good point niblet. Anyway, you should know by now, not to burst unannounced into a room with a vampire." At this a sly grin spread across Dawn's face, that had Spike been paying attention, would have made him both wary and proud. "That _is_ a good point Spike, I do know that…", Spike pleased that Dawn had absorbed his teachings, did not notice the ominous tone to Dawn's words, "…however, considering, I was unaware that a vampire, not to mention a half-naked vampire, would be in my sister's _bedroom_, I didn't think to apply that lesson." Dawn watched Spike's face waiting for the moment when realisation hit him. It came suddenly and Dawn was pleased to see, that just after the moment of shock a smile, unlike any she had seen on him before, spread across Spike's face, and an unfamiliar softness entered his eyes.

"Aye bit, that's a fine point."

Author's Note

Hi guys. I'm sorry this took so long to update. I started this story just before I went away to University, and it unfortunately fell to the wayside during my time there. I would like to say updates will be regular, but due to my job it is likely that they will be sporadic. I hope that you guys keep reading though.

Also many thanks to:

Itanaru101, Spuffy IS true luv, lil-leti, EmptySequence, XxNovellaxX, Sailor-Lit, and Ljlashlarue. The reviews you guys gave me, helped me to get this thing going again. I hope I've been able to meet your expectations.


	6. Realisation of love

Buffy had been watching the interaction between Spike and Dawn with apprehension. Once she had calmed Spike down she had moved back, and allowed them to do their thing. However her body was taut with tension, practically humming with it. Unable to decide between fight or flight Buffy was locked into place.

Only one thought was running through her mind _**"Dawnie's going to hate me. How could she not. I have been terrible to her, and now I'm in love with another vampire." **_That last part shocked Buffy out of her stupor. She knew she liked Spike, loved him even, but _in _love… That was something completely different, so did she? Sinking onto her bed Buffy looked back at everything that had led to this moment. The time before she died was fuzzy, she could remember all her friends, and her mum, but individual moments, all her other memories were vague, at least all those not concerned with Spike. She remembered with perfect clarity that fateful parent's night, the time he came to her offering to help her with Angelus. All the times he professed his love for her and she shot him down, and most vividly she remembered the night she pretended to be the Buffybot. Spike had been so broken, all to protect Buffy from the pain she would feel if Dawn were taken, how could she have doubted him.

The night she came back, that night when she was ripped away from what she believed to be heaven, Spike was gentle, and kind. He did crowd her, or caused her pain, the way her friends had. Oh they didn't know they did, but their voices grated on ears that were still readjusting to being 'superpowered', his low, soft voice was the only one that didn't cause her pain. Her mind confused, and jumbled they immediately jumped on her, asking questions, demanding answers, every one of them a stranger, except for Spike.

Since she'd been back he'd been there for her, even when she ridiculed him, beat him, pushed him away. He'd stayed and he'd never left, never forced her to be what he expected her to be, but allowed her time to heal, to adjust, and for that she loved him. Everything he'd done for her, and everything she knew he would continue to do for her, that was what caused her to fall in love, and what would continue to do so for the rest of her life. And it was a life now, no longer was she just trying to exist. Last night Spike with his love, and his presence, brought her back to life.


End file.
